5 Useful Tips from Sex Experts

Posted 8:45 am, October 25th, 2011 by Zestra News

Doctor with Clipboard

Sex is something widely discussed, and yet intensely private.  While some of us can talk about it with good friends or Mom, a lot of the nitty-gritty is too personal to verbalize.  Eagerly ripping open a Cosmo or looking at statistics is an option, but thanks to the proliferation of the internet, we are able to get expert advice with a few mouse clicks.

Below are five sex and relationship tips on how to improve your love life from legit experts.

1. Communication is key.

It may be obvious, but if you don’t tell your partner what you like (and dislike), you can’t expect him or her to guess – at least you can’t expect the guess to be correct.  It’s like playing the “what number am I thinking of” game with your personal parts.

2. Longer ain’t necessarily better.

Regardless of what Sting says, longer sex isn’t always better sex.  Research published in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine indicates the optimal amount of time for intercourse is between 3 and 13 minutes.  Take that tantric sex!

3. Open the toy box.

Tristan Taormino, author of “Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation” explains:  “If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she’s not broken.”  She says many couples use vibrators together and they should think of a vibrator as an “assistant, not a substitute.”  In addition, many couples find experimenting with various arousal oils and male and female stimulation products helpful.  But be careful when asking to try new things – you don’t want to alienate your partner by implying your existing sex life isn’t satisfactory.

4. Guess what?  Movies lie.

Contrary to what many porn movies want you to think, the old bump and grind isn’t always the best method of achieving satisfaction.  Celebrated sex educator Lou Paget suggests that for women “a vaginal orgasm is very difficult… (women) respond better to oral and manual stimulation.”  Ms. Paget had an hour-long special on the WE Network called “Making Love Happen with Lou Paget.” She gives regular seminars around the country and offers sex ed books on her website.

5. Talk to your doctor.

Josey Vogels, called “Canada’s Carrie Bradshaw,” suggests people, particularly those on certain anti-depressants or ADHD drugs, discuss diminished sex drive with their doctors.  The physician may be able to switch meds to something more erotically friendly.

In the words of Bobby Rio, a founder of the men’s relationship and lifestyle site TSBMag, “I’ve found there is only one secret for becoming a better lover. The secret is to simply pay better attention to what is working and what isn’t… (he or she) will give you all the clues you need… you just have to be ready to read them and be willing to make the adjustments.”

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