Zestra helps you get over the hump!

Posted 8:50 am, November 9th, 2011

by Zestra News

As many of you know, Wednesday is considered “hump day” around the U.S. Though Zestra likes to think of every day as a potential “hump day,” we admit Wednesdays are special: it’s the tipping point of the work week. So, how better to help you over the hump than with an assortment of fun facts, sexpert advice and all-around fabulous relationship intel?

Check out the first in a series of Hump Day meditations and celebrations below:

Video from the files:

Check out a Star Trek fan’s montage of awesome ‘orgasmic’ moments from the show. Talk about boldly going…

Did you know…

…An 18th century Russian woman holds the record for most births by an individual mother with 69. To put it in perspective, she could have fielded 7 baseball teams with her own children.

They said it

President Lincoln Memorial

“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.” – Abraham Lincoln
“I think I could fall madly in bed with you.” – Author Unknown
“I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

Blogging Sexpert of the Week:

Our selected sex genius of the week is Lisa Steadman.

Lisa Steadman headshot

Ms. Steadman, a relationship, marketing and leadership entrepreneur, has been featured on the Today Show, the Tyra Banks Show and Playboy radio, in addition to writing the book “If He’s Not the One, Who Is? What Went Wrong and What it Takes to Find Mr. Right.” She is CEO of Woohoo, Inc. and, as “Chief Woohoo Woman,” motivates people into “Awakening (Their) Woohoo Within.”

Ms. Steadman is a big fan of flirting, advocating checking out the local “cuties” while grocery shopping, in line for coffee or at the book store. But she’s also a realist. One of her truths about breaking up, published in Seventeen Magazine, is “You will never know why you got dumped.” She ends the article on a positive note, however, affirming that “you will find a better guy.” Optimism with a reality check – sounds like a great combo in today’s complicated sexual environment.

Lisa Steadman Twitter

You can follow Lisa Steadman on Twitter @LisaSteadman and you can follow us at @Zestra.

Get Frisky

Our carefully selected and somewhat acrobatic sexual position of the week is the Standing Wheelbarrow. To achieve this fantastic human pretzel, the fella should stand behind the woman, slip in and lift her up by the pelvis. She should wrap her legs around his waist and balance on her hands for support. Think of it like an X-rated version of the game you played in school. But there’s no need to race through this one.

Standing Wheelbarrow graphic

Be sure to check out our Facebook page for today’s online poll, “If my sex life were a car, it would be…” and check back next Wednesday for the results of that poll and another hump day celebration.

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Shhhh! Common Unspoken Menopause Symptoms

Posted 12:00 pm, November 5th, 2011

by Zestra News

Embarrased Talking About Menopause?Menopause. It’s a term most women associate with hot flashes and mood swings. However, there are two prevalent menopausal symptoms that are rarely talked about – vaginal dryness and pain. Since these symptoms are rarely if ever discussed, women often feel alone, isolated and are unaware of solutions. In reality, vaginal health issues are very common; about 50% of women suffer from vaginal symptoms during menopause.

Not only are these symptoms common, but so is the “Grin and Bear it” mentality that most menopausal women have toward sex. In a recent study, 93% of women who report painful intercourse stated that they are still engaging in sexual activity. In an effort to change the conversation, Kelley Connors, host of Real Women on Health Radio, interviewed Dr. Michael Krychman, MD, Board-Certified Ob-Gyn. The two discussed the many options available to help mature women enjoy healthy, satisfying sexual relationships as well as the need to break down cultural taboos around female sexuality that keep women from addressing their discomfort. Interested? Listen below.

Listen to internet radio with kelleyconnors on Blog Talk Radio
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11 Awesome Things You Just Missed By Not Following Zestra on Twitter

Posted 9:43 am, November 4th, 2011

by Zestra News

Zestra Rush Twitter

The best and worst thing about the internet is that it’s an infinity of information (you can find practically anything on there). Who has time to sort through the thousands of posts, articles, blogs, tweets, comments and likes? Well, guess what—we do. Here at Zestra, we scrutinize the interweb every day for the latest and greatest in sexpert advice and female sexuality info to pass along to you via Twitter.

But we can only pass it along if you’re following us.

Check out 11 of our most recent – often insightful, sometimes funny – tweets and retweets of our latest finds:

1.) If your husband doesn’t want sex, it’s probably not your fault

Your Husband Doesn't Want to Have Sex

2.) Why men want to kiss before sex and women want to kiss after

Women After Sex

3.) Cops to lady loin grabber: Leave that junk alone! via @tsgnews

Lady groin grabber

4.) Sex moves women want, but are too afraid to admit

5 Sex Moves Women Want But Are Afraid to Ask

5.) Bad economy could equal more sex [Video] via @KCTV

Bad economy equal more sex screen grab

6.) Most common excuse to turn down sex: “I’m too tired.” Strangest excuse: “My infection hurts.”

Skinny on Female Libido

7.) 7 words that will help you reach full orgasm

Orgasm 7 words

8.) Think your sex drive is stuck in park? Maybe you just don’t know how to turn on the engine.

Female Libido

9.) Would you retire a sex toy if a TSA worker found it with nodding approval?

TSA worker sex toy grab

10.) Sex advice from psychics. They knew we were going to tweet this.

Sex Advice from Psychics

11.) One big score leads to another? Female condom thief nabs over $500 of prophylactics via @EdenFantasys

Condom Kleptomaniac

For those of you who aren’t on Twitter (or think it’s too much of a hassle to get set up) it’s actually super easy. Twitter signing up requires entering your name, email and a password. That’s it! Then you can follow us (and anyone else who catches your fancy). Easy-peasy.

It’ll be worth it. We promise.

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5 Facts about Sex after Childbirth

Posted 8:45 am, November 2nd, 2011

by Zestra News

Pregnancy sex romance

Unfortunately, “sex after childbirth” proves to be an oxymoron for a lot of couples. Between Mom’s boomeranging hormones, Dad’s shell-shock and Baby’s incessant demand to be fed, wiped, cuddled, put down and picked up, there’s just not a whole lot of time for getting down and dirty.

As often as women go through childbirth, you’d think we’d have a better grasp on the facts, but unfortunately, the post-baby latency period occurs too often without discussion. Below are five important things you need to file into your internal hard-drive about postnatal sex.

1. It’s gonna take some time.

While some people think it’s open season the moment Junior’s been evicted, this is most definitely not the case. Those who have experienced a vaginal delivery have bruised and torn their vaginal tissue, which can take weeks to repair. C-Section ladies aren’t off the hook, either. Their bodies have also undergone months of turbulence and trauma and need to let their bodies heal. Most practitioners advocate – in either case – staying away from intercourse until the mother’s first postnatal check-up – generally six weeks after birth – if not longer.

2. For Mom, oral sex is a no-go.

Many couples think that vaginal intercourse is the only sex on the no-fly list. Well, they’re wrong. Oral sex performed on the woman can be just as, if not more, dangerous. One possible catastrophe is saliva introducing an infection to the vagina and womb. In even more extreme situations, oral sex can prove fatal to the new mom if her partner blows air into the vagina, creating a situation known as an “air embolism.”

3. The little dude(-ette) casts a big shadow.

If it feels like the new addition has changed everything, it’s because they have. Some of the changes are obvious – lack of sleep, fatigue, worry over whether you’re doing the right things – while others are less palpable. Often men are susceptible to the “three’s a crowd” mentality, feeling left out by a mother and baby who are (and have been for 9 months) inextricably and exclusively bonded. And then there those who can’t get the image of their partner spread-eagle in the delivery room out of their head. Moms should endeavor to be understanding in either case.

4. Sex will happen again…

It will.

5. …But you may need some help.

Hormone changes can lead many women to experience vaginal dryness for the first few months after delivery.  Doctors suggest new parents take it slow during the first few sexual encounters. The Mayo Clinic suggests beginning with cuddling, kissing or massage. “Try different positions to take pressure off any sore areas and control penetration. Tell your partner what feels good – and what doesn’t.”

So, what can you do to make the transition easier? Be patient. Be romantic. Try to see the wait as extended foreplay – sort of a second courting period. If women find they are not feeling the same thrill during sex they had pre-baby, they may want to do Kegel exercises to improve internal muscle tone. Get creative with your intimate schedule; baby nap-time can be mommy and daddy play-time. It is most important for the parents to talk to each other about how they’re doing. Women may feel unattractive and not want to have sex, but men may feel unattractive because they’re NOT having sex.

If you (or your partner) have finished breastfeeding and are still experiencing a loss of desire, you may want to try using a female arousal oil.

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Get the Skinny on the Female Libido

Posted 8:45 am, October 28th, 2011

by Zestra News

To continue to bring you the best and boldest in sex ed, Zestra has partnered with skinnyscoop.com on the enlightening (and entertaining!) infographic below. For example, did you know that 86% of women think they have low sex drive? For more excellent intel, check it out below. (And feel free to share it with friends, neighbors and the followers of your blog!)

The Skinny On The Female Libido

To embed and share this infographic, copy the code below and paste into your blog:

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5 Surprising Life Events that Affect Your Libido

Posted 8:45 am, October 27th, 2011

by Zestra News

Mature couple smiling

Sex is a rare blend of physical and mental stimulants and not entirely understood by anyone (well, maybe Freud). Consequently, events, moods and physical conditions affect everyone’s libido differently. There are the obvious game-changers like infidelity, negative body image, resurfacing childhood trauma and a major illness. But who knew living with Grandma could crush your drive?

Below are five life events that could dampen your carnal interest.

Living with Grandma.

We’ll start with the one I mentioned. People who live with family members (or in some cases, frequent houseguests) are less likely to feel like engaging in intercourse. Between the lack of privacy and potential embarrassment of being interrupted, many couples decide the risk isn’t worth the reward.

Pink slips.

Losing a job can summon stress, embarrassment, financial worry and depression – all factors that can make you less interested in intercourse. In addition, many people’s senses of self-worth are inextricable from their professional identity. Without meaningful employment, they have a difficult time finding themselves worthy of love or sex with their partner.

Going on the wagon.

Quitting alcohol is a great thing in general – one can save money, lose a few pounds and become a more even-handed, even-tempered person – but beating the booze can impact, albeit temporarily, sex drive. This decline in libido is attributable less to the absence of beer goggles than experiencing performance anxiety without alcohol, which acts as a natural anxiolytic. Studies show, however, that though short-term interest in sex is diminished, the overall quality of physical encounters is improved in the long run.

The Change.

Hot flashes, night sweats, irregular periods, fatigue, mood swings – menopause isn’t exactly a picnic. But as if things weren’t bad enough, achieving a menopause orgasm is about as easy as telling your husband it’s time to chop the comb over. At a point where you’re already feeling less attractive, suddenly it takes forever to become aroused, and once there, the feeling is considerably less intense. Is there something wrong with you? You’re dry, uncomfortable and irritated. Will you ever feel the same excitement and explosive happiness of the past? The answer is yes. With evolving hormone replacement therapy and the option of using a female arousal product, there’s no reason your sex life can’t return to the highs of pre-menopause. Discuss the situation with your doctor and be sure to communicate to your partner that the difficulty you’re having is condition-based and not his fault.

Bun in the oven.

From a female perspective, being pregnant can be just a lot on top of too much. In the first trimester, most women experience a decrease in libido – a decline worse in those with marked morning sickness. With the elimination of morning sickness in the second trimester, libido returns and can even become stronger. (Those crazy hormones!) As the imminent mother grows larger, however, sex is often the last thing on her mind. Body image crushed, uncomfortable and feeling like a U-Haul, she’s more likely to obtain her endorphins over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Men are often concerned that sex may endanger the baby and, in some cases, have a difficult time psychologically separating the wife as sex object from the wife as mother. Unless ordered by your doctor, sex can continue safely through pregnancy, though you may need to experiment with positions and techniques.

While some of the aforementioned changes are physiological, the majority are emotional and mental. They are no less real, however. Rather than finding ways to avoid sex with your partner, talk to him or her about how you’re feeling and work through it together.

Check out these useful tips from sex experts who have a thing or two to say about female sexuality.

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