5 Useful Tips from Sex Experts

Posted 8:45 am, October 25th, 2011

by Zestra News

Doctor with Clipboard

Sex is something widely discussed, and yet intensely private.  While some of us can talk about it with good friends or Mom, a lot of the nitty-gritty is too personal to verbalize.  Eagerly ripping open a Cosmo or looking at statistics is an option, but thanks to the proliferation of the internet, we are able to get expert advice with a few mouse clicks.

Below are five sex and relationship tips on how to improve your love life from legit experts.

1. Communication is key.

It may be obvious, but if you don’t tell your partner what you like (and dislike), you can’t expect him or her to guess – at least you can’t expect the guess to be correct.  It’s like playing the “what number am I thinking of” game with your personal parts.

2. Longer ain’t necessarily better.

Regardless of what Sting says, longer sex isn’t always better sex.  Research published in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine indicates the optimal amount of time for intercourse is between 3 and 13 minutes.  Take that tantric sex!

3. Open the toy box.

Tristan Taormino, author of “Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation” explains:  “If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she’s not broken.”  She says many couples use vibrators together and they should think of a vibrator as an “assistant, not a substitute.”  In addition, many couples find experimenting with various arousal oils and male and female stimulation products helpful.  But be careful when asking to try new things – you don’t want to alienate your partner by implying your existing sex life isn’t satisfactory.

4. Guess what?  Movies lie.

Contrary to what many porn movies want you to think, the old bump and grind isn’t always the best method of achieving satisfaction.  Celebrated sex educator Lou Paget suggests that for women “a vaginal orgasm is very difficult… (women) respond better to oral and manual stimulation.”  Ms. Paget had an hour-long special on the WE Network called “Making Love Happen with Lou Paget.” She gives regular seminars around the country and offers sex ed books on her website.

5. Talk to your doctor.

Josey Vogels, called “Canada’s Carrie Bradshaw,” suggests people, particularly those on certain anti-depressants or ADHD drugs, discuss diminished sex drive with their doctors.  The physician may be able to switch meds to something more erotically friendly.

In the words of Bobby Rio, a founder of the men’s relationship and lifestyle site TSBMag, “I’ve found there is only one secret for becoming a better lover. The secret is to simply pay better attention to what is working and what isn’t… (he or she) will give you all the clues you need… you just have to be ready to read them and be willing to make the adjustments.”

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7 Relationship Sexperts You Should Be Following on Twitter

Posted 8:45 am, October 19th, 2011

by Zestra News

There are experts in everything. Civil War history, entomology, the works of Danielle Steel—it should come as no surprise that there are experts on sex. All aspects of sex – from stimulation to orgasm, arousal to the big finish.

But these “sexperts” are not only amusing at dinner parties, they can also improve your life.

The seven sexual gurus below are a mix of informative, ironic and irreverent. You should add them to your Twitter ASAP. (Oh, and you should follow us @Zestra too!)

@TheBloggess – Jenny Lawson

TheBloggess Ms. Lawson is not only an extremely knowledgeable expert in sex issues, she’s also hysterically funny. Interspersed between insightful tips and honest relationship advice, this self-titled “Jenny from the Blog” recounts some genius exchanges with husband Victor as she makes comments like “It’s National Mental Illness Week? I’m guessing this means you forgot to get me a card.” Entertaining yet educational, this blog is a must for women of all ages.

@femalecenter – The Medical Center for Female Sexuality

Center for Female Sexuality

MCFS is tweeted primarily by sexual dysfunction specialist Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, who founded the center in 2000 with Dr. Michael A. Werner. Ms. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning a Doctorate in Philosophy at the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. According to Dr. Marcus, a “good day at the office is seeing women happy and having a wonderful time with their partner… (they) can re-access that part of themselves that they thought they’d lost.” Her tweets link to shrewd blog posts on all things sexual.

@IrisKrasnow – Iris Krasnow

Iris Krasnow headshot Ms. Krasnow, celebrated author of “The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What it Really Takes to Stay Married,” recently appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and the Early Show discussing female sexuality. “Secret Lives” is also one of O Magazine’s “Ten Titles to Pick Up Now.” Specializing in getting down the nitty-gritty of relationship politics, Ms. Krasnow believes women can have both a secure committed bond with their partner and continue to inject sexual adventure.

@jennawrites – Jenna McCarthy

Jenna McCarthy Twitter

Ms. McCarthy is a fantastic writer with a playful and irreverent voice. Her approach is friendly, informative and fun, evidenced by the rather verbose, yet hilarious, title of her book, “If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married.” Bonus fun: many commenters on her website confuse her with famous Jim Carrey-ex Jenny McCarthy yet Jenna gamely answers their questions.

@Lissarankin – Lissa Rankin

Lissa Rankin Twitter Dr. Rankin is the founder of OwningPink.com and the author of “What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend.” Recently named to the star-studded top 10 Twitter doctors list, Dr. Rankin is very receptive to feedback and her Twitter feed includes a great deal of back and forth with followers and fellow physicians. She also retweets great sex info, quotes and links to a ton of useful information.

@MiddlesexMD – Dr. Barb DePree

MiddlesexMD Twitter

Another physician (check out the handle!), Dr. DePree is a menopause care specialist who gears her tweets primarily to women over 40. Explaining her website, Dr. DePree states “I want this site to be a tasteful and comfortable environment where we can understand and explore, and perhaps even share tips for our optimal sexual health and pleasure.” A sample tweet: “Avoiding sex because it’s painful? Join Dr. Barb for an interactive conversation on restoring vaginal comfort.”

@pamelamadsen – Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen Twitter Photo

As founder of The American Fertility Association, Ms. Madsen covers a wide swath of sexual topics ranging from having The Talk with her sons to female arousal enhancers. She’s also an acclaimed author, writing a very funny book entitled “Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure… and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner.” Sample tweets: “Sex vs. Food: The Startling Choice Women Are Making” and “The Treacherous Fifties: How Turning Fifty Might Turn Your Life Upside Down.” Sex or food? That’s a startling (and tough) choice indeed.

Twitter is great for gaining access to targeted information about things that matter to you. Each of the women above is a fount of information on all things carnal. Follow them today to improve your relationship, your health, your happiness and your life.

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Jackie Zeman’s Tips for Dating After 40 via SkinnyScoop

Posted 5:34 pm, October 18th, 2011

by Zestra News
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6 Sexy Date Ideas: Rekindle the Fire

Posted 8:45 am, October 18th, 2011

by Zestra News

Rekindle the romance with six great date ideas.

The 21st century is a busy place.  Politics, money, kids, planes, trains, migraines… It’s hard to find time for anything relaxing or personal.

And good sex requires both.

Rushing from dawn until dusk, most of us are tired, stressed and more interested in sleeping on hay than rolling in it.  But this cannot stand!  After all, the very future of the planet and human civilization is at stake!

All kidding aside, here are six ideas for dates that ditch the distractions and re-ignite your sex life.

1.  “Plan” to be spontaneous

Even the best things in life can become routine.  Dazzle your partner with an impulsive lunch-hour shower.  (A tip: Various male and female arousal lubricants can make this experience even more tantalizing and memorable.)  Or, surprise your partner with an unexpected last minute tryst in an upscale hotel.  This decadent and delicious Us Time is guaranteed to leave your relationship refreshed and recharged.

2.  Rent a sailboat for a nautical adventure

A voyage on the high seas is a great way to celebrate your love and kick-start the romance.  Enjoy a candlelit dinner with your partner while relaxing on a beautiful body of water.  For those less experienced, charter companies often offer rentable crews.  Sailing lessons are also available and the experience is more affordable that you think.

3.  Get your game on

Nothing gets the blood hotter than a little friendly competition.  Consider turning your date night into a battle of the sexes over mini-golf or bowling.  Bar games like pool and darts can be both entertaining and endorphin-inducing.  For the truly adventurous, a bedroom casino can combine fun and… more fun.  Challenge your partner to a few hands of strip poker or Kama Sutra roulette.  But remember to draw the blinds.  Or don’t.  Dealer’s choice.

4.  Split date night

Rather than argue about what to do on Saturday night, split the date in two and tailor one-half to each partner.  A sample might be as follows:  Dick likes fishing.  Jane likes dancing.  Dick plans a trip to a local studio for a couple’s tango lesson.  Afterwards, Jane takes Dick to a Bass Pro Shop for dinner.  (And yes, they actually have restaurants in the majority of Bass Pro Shop locations!)  Nothing is sexier than a partner who considers your feelings.

5.  Cook an exotic meal together

Channel your inner Julia Child as the two of you create a sumptuous new dish. Trade duties as you laugh and re-connect in the kitchen.  Food can be surprisingly erotic. Try embracing something spicy like Thai or Indian to get your libido going.  But, remember to ignore those dishes until morning.

6.  Go back to the beginning

Butterflies in the stomach, sly glances across the table, your hand brushing his – a jaunt down Nostalgia Boulevard is a great way to rekindle the fire.  Peruse old pictures or recreate your first date to feel like you’re meeting for the first time, again.

The most important thing to remember is that sex is a shared experience.  Be creative, communicate and have fun together.  Keeping your romantic life fresh amidst the demands of today is a challenge, but not an insurmountable one.

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5 Libido Inspiring Halloween Costumes

Posted 8:51 am, October 14th, 2011

by Zestra News
Pan Am, ABC

Pan Am, ABC 2011

This Halloween, skip the generically sexy costumes that flood the stores every year and go with something a little more fun that can make an appearance at the evening costume party then take the stage at the midnight role play. Read more »

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5 Yummy Aphrodisiacs for Fall

Posted 12:43 pm, October 13th, 2011

by Zestra News


Fall is the season for stripping off the bulky sweaters and heating up under the sheets.  Make the most of those fabulously decadent holiday spreads and rev up your libido while you feast by tossing in a few of these aphrodisiac-filled foods next time you pull out your recipes. Read more »

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