Posts Tagged ‘intimacy’

The Four False Fantasies of Fornication

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Posted 8:30 am, January 5th, 2012

by Zestra News

Most people have sex in beds. This makes sense. Beds are horizontal. They have comfortable sheets. A bedroom is generally private. So why are so many people interested in having uncomfortable, challenging and potentially embarrassing intercourse in other locations?

“Because it’s AWESOME…”

…At least that’s what we’re told.

But is it awesome? Below are four places reputed to be excellent for hot hook-ups. But between them, you can expect to be cut, squished, bitten by bugs and stuffed full of sand. Some might call that less “awesome” and more “humiliating and painful.”

Of course, there are always different strokes for different folks…

False Fantasy #1: The Haystack

sex haystack fantasy

“A roll in the hay” is a popular American idiom for a quick and painless sexual encounter. But have you ever rolled in hay? Or even touched it? It’s rough. It’s itchy. And it will CUT YOU faster than a Ritalin-popping teenager with Mom’s razor. Add the potential for various creepy-crawlies and Rodents of Unusual Size, and you have an experience more befitting a Turkish prison than a romance novel.

False Fantasy #2: The Beach

sex beach fantasy

Blast you Hollywood! Who doesn’t watch the famous scene in “From Here to Eternity” and want to be swept into similar passion – waves crashing over sun-kissed hot bodies rolling in the silt? Sounds like a dream…

But the dream is a lie. One word: Sand. Sand everywhere. Between your toes, in your eyes, up your nose and yes, in the unmentionable areas – most of all in the unmentionable areas. Unless peeing shore grit for days is a personal goal, beach sex should be more of a pariah than Casey Anthony.

False Fantasy #3: The Mile High Club

sex airplane fantasy

The myth of the Mile High Club as a source of male and female arousal is potent in our United States. Perhaps it’s the plethora of transatlantic flights, but Americans seem particularly compelled to have intercourse in tiny plastic bathrooms, mere feet from their fellow passengers.

These brave (idiotic) souls, jacked up on half-cans of Diet Coke and mini-pretzels, sneak their way into airline commodes, determined to do the nasty. Sometimes they succeed – to be faced upon exit with scowling flight attendants and the reak of unchanged diapers.

But who are these people who want to have sex in the aviation industry’s version of a clown car? Most people find airline travel uncomfortable enough without adding a bout of Trashy Toilet Twister to the equation.

False Fantasy #4: The Woods

sex forest fantasy

Ever since Lady Chatterley spent a few salacious afternoons banging her gamekeeper in the forest, literature has judged the woods to be a sexy, humping Mecca. But it’s fairly apparent that D.H. Lawrence didn’t actually spend his sexy time outside. Between the sticks, rocks, broken bottles, used condoms, Snickers wrappers and random pieces of crime scene tape, the last place you should be getting naked is under the elms.

And, if that’s not enough to convince you, consider bird poop. Nothing kills the mood like being torpedoed by a loogie of white, gloppy avian excrement.

So there you have them: Four legendary locations that may not live up to the sexy images created by books and movies. We invite you to visit them for yourselves and share your experiences below.

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Zestra Helps You Get Over the Hump: Week 7

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Posted 8:30 am, December 21st, 2011

by Zestra News

Let the countdown begin! Hopefully, for those of you still slaving away at the mine, this Hump Day post will provide a quick laugh en route to the holiday weekend.

But first, a few Hanukah/Christmas/Kwanza/Festivus tips:
1. Try to look grateful when you get a used tape player from your great-uncle
2. Count to 30 before responding to your mother-in-law
3. Always choose cookies in lieu of all other food
4. Have fun!

Video of the Week:

Sexy Quotes from Sexy People

Angelina Jolie

“I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little disconcerting.” –Angelina Jolie
“I like to have a Martini, two at the very most; three, I’m under the table, four I’m under my host!” –Dorothy Parker
“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.” –Bill Cosby

Sexpert of the Week – Josey Vogels

Josey Vogels headshot

Zestra Sexpert-of-the-week Josey Vogels is as prolific as she is clever. Known as “Canada’s Carrie Bradshaw,” Ms. Vogels writes two newspaper columns, contributes to five blogs and hosts a sex and relationship series on radio. Oh, and in case that wasn’t enough, she writes books too. It makes the rest of us seem downright lazy, doesn’t it?

The youngest of eight children (her mother was quite prolific too), Ms. Vogels grew up on a dairy farm in Ontario, Canada. For the past decade, the journalism major has dispensed sex know-how and relationship advice to people throughout North America (despite her column being pulled in some more conservative markets).

According to Ms. Vogels, “The mainstream media are really uncomfortable with talking about kids having sex. It’s automatically assumed that any sexual experience will be traumatic.”

Sample topics she’s written about are “Women Have Lots of Casual Sex – Get Over It,” “Christmas Gift-Giving: the True Test of Your Relationship” and “Can Drugs Make You Love Someone You Don’t?”

This gifted writer gives sound advice while bravely discussing topics others consider taboo. We at Zestra admire her courage, honesty and fortitude.

Josey Vogels Twitter

You can follow Ms. Vogels on Twitter @joseyvogels and us

Tip of the week:

Santa Hat

Play Santa
Sure, everyone likes an iPhone or a cashmere sweater, but give your partner the real gift of intimacy this holiday. Most people, when they think of “intimacy,” think of intercourse. But sex, while enjoyable, isn’t the only way of showing your love. Back massages, erotic baths, simple touching and even playful banter can also display affection and attraction. After all, gifts mean nothing without a caring partner.

The results of last week’s Facebook poll

Question: If I was stuck on a desert island, I could do without ________.

Desert Island

Best answers:
“…The Hallmark Channel”
“…The smoke monster from Lost
“…The Republican primary”
“…My cell phone”

1.) Check out our Facebook page to vote on this week’s poll question: “If I could have sex anywhere, I would have it…”
a. In space
b. In a church
c. On The Planet of the Apes
d. On top of Brad Pitt

Results will be published next week! Happy Holidays!

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Zestra’s (You-Really-Don’t-Have-To) Fake-It-Friday

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Posted 8:30 am, December 16th, 2011

by Zestra News


Your Brain on O

Women are prolific, efficient and effective liars…

…At least, they are when it comes to faking orgasms.

Over the past few weeks, Zestra has tweeted, posted, blogged and commented on a number of media stories related to the seemingly irrepressible habit women have of acting out the Big O instead of experiencing one.

Scientists have speculated on why women fake it. How much they fake it. When they fake it. With whom they fake it. What it means when they fake it.

The fake orgasm may be History’s tallest tale.

The thing is, though… WOMEN DON’T HAVE TO. We have the technology! We have Zestra.

Below is a sample of our favorite orgasm news. Just keep in mind that in today’s day and age, “faking it” is a choice, not a necessity.

Women's Health Screen Grab

Women’s Health IDs reasons women fake orgasms, and why it’s not good for them…

ABC News Orgasm Screen Grab

ABC News claims some women experience a “labor orgasm” during childbirth.

CNN orgasm screen grab

Study finds women who fake orgasms more likely to believe their mate will cheat.

The Daily Fix Orgasm Screen Grab

MRI shows a woman’s brain lighting up during orgasm.

Be sure to come back and visit this blog for the best in orgasm and sex information. You should also follow us on Twitter using the button below!

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Zestra Helps You Get Over the Hump: Week 6

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Posted 8:30 am, December 14th, 2011

by Zestra News

It’s Wednesday, which means you’re half-way to the weekend! (And, the holidays are creeping closer every day, so we hope you’ve at least started on the holiday shopping…)

Below are a few items to make the next couple of days a little bit better – Katherine Heigl explains why she’s such a big fan of neutering pets, Woody Allen notes the benefit of masturbation and someone has a crush on Dame Judi Dench… Check out this week’s Hump Day post below.

Video of the Week:

Sexy Quotes from Sexy People

Billy Crystal headshot

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” –Billy Crystal
“Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I love.” –Woody Allen
“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.” –Drew Carey

Sexperts of the Week – The Kinsey Institute

Kinsey Institute Logo

The Institute for Sex Research (later known as The Kinsey Institute) was founded in 1947 by Dr. Albert Kinsey, a zoologist at Indiana University.

Kinsey and his institute quickly became famous for The Kinsey Reports on sexuality, released as Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female in 1948 and 1953, respectively.

Discussing such then-taboos as homo- and bi-sexuality, sadomasochism and marital sexual behavior, Kinsey’s studies incurred a great deal of skepticism and negative press. The Kinsey Report is most famous for its “Kinsey Scale,” a 0 to 6 numbered continuum that suggests sexuality isn’t an unambiguous yes / no proposition, but comprised of complex, fluid impulses and behaviors.

Though Kinsey died in 1956, his work lives on in the Institute, which remains one of the foremost authorities on human sexuality. Using its website and social media to deliver information and answer questions, the Kinsey Institute (and peripheral site Kinsey Confidential) seeks to provide people with a forum to discuss all manner of sexual topics.

Kinsey Institute Tweet

You can follow the institute on Twitter @kinseyinstitute and us

Sex tip of the week:

Visit an erotic store together

Sex shop

Maybe it’s the neon XXX, but many people feel awkward visiting an adult store. Yet, a trip to the local sex shop can considerably spice up things in the bedroom. Not only will it give you and your partner some interesting bonding time, the surroundings may jumpstart a conversation that allows each of you to confess any romantic concerns or fantasies.

The results of last week’s Facebook poll

Question: My ugly crush is_________________

Best answers:

Larry David
Larry David headshot

Steve Buscemi
Steve Buscemi headshot

Dame Judi Dench
(Who, to be fair, is just old.)
Dame Judy Dench headshot

Kathleen Turner
Kathleen Turner headshot

See all the responses here.

Check out our Facebook page to vote on this week’s poll question: “I can do without…” (And we know it’s not arousal oil!)

Best results will be published next week!

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6 Sexy Date Ideas: Rekindle the Fire

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Posted 8:45 am, October 18th, 2011

by Zestra News

Rekindle the romance with six great date ideas.

The 21st century is a busy place.  Politics, money, kids, planes, trains, migraines… It’s hard to find time for anything relaxing or personal.

And good sex requires both.

Rushing from dawn until dusk, most of us are tired, stressed and more interested in sleeping on hay than rolling in it.  But this cannot stand!  After all, the very future of the planet and human civilization is at stake!

All kidding aside, here are six ideas for dates that ditch the distractions and re-ignite your sex life.

1.  “Plan” to be spontaneous

Even the best things in life can become routine.  Dazzle your partner with an impulsive lunch-hour shower.  (A tip: Various male and female arousal lubricants can make this experience even more tantalizing and memorable.)  Or, surprise your partner with an unexpected last minute tryst in an upscale hotel.  This decadent and delicious Us Time is guaranteed to leave your relationship refreshed and recharged.

2.  Rent a sailboat for a nautical adventure

A voyage on the high seas is a great way to celebrate your love and kick-start the romance.  Enjoy a candlelit dinner with your partner while relaxing on a beautiful body of water.  For those less experienced, charter companies often offer rentable crews.  Sailing lessons are also available and the experience is more affordable that you think.

3.  Get your game on

Nothing gets the blood hotter than a little friendly competition.  Consider turning your date night into a battle of the sexes over mini-golf or bowling.  Bar games like pool and darts can be both entertaining and endorphin-inducing.  For the truly adventurous, a bedroom casino can combine fun and… more fun.  Challenge your partner to a few hands of strip poker or Kama Sutra roulette.  But remember to draw the blinds.  Or don’t.  Dealer’s choice.

4.  Split date night

Rather than argue about what to do on Saturday night, split the date in two and tailor one-half to each partner.  A sample might be as follows:  Dick likes fishing.  Jane likes dancing.  Dick plans a trip to a local studio for a couple’s tango lesson.  Afterwards, Jane takes Dick to a Bass Pro Shop for dinner.  (And yes, they actually have restaurants in the majority of Bass Pro Shop locations!)  Nothing is sexier than a partner who considers your feelings.

5.  Cook an exotic meal together

Channel your inner Julia Child as the two of you create a sumptuous new dish. Trade duties as you laugh and re-connect in the kitchen.  Food can be surprisingly erotic. Try embracing something spicy like Thai or Indian to get your libido going.  But, remember to ignore those dishes until morning.

6.  Go back to the beginning

Butterflies in the stomach, sly glances across the table, your hand brushing his – a jaunt down Nostalgia Boulevard is a great way to rekindle the fire.  Peruse old pictures or recreate your first date to feel like you’re meeting for the first time, again.

The most important thing to remember is that sex is a shared experience.  Be creative, communicate and have fun together.  Keeping your romantic life fresh amidst the demands of today is a challenge, but not an insurmountable one.

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Cancer Survivorship, Sex and Intimacy

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Posted 11:41 am, May 20th, 2010

by Rosann

Sponsored by Zestra, Real Women on Health recently discussed the important topic of sexuality and intimacy for female cancer survivors. Guests Lisa Martinez, Founder, The Women’s Sexual Health Foundation and Lindi Snider, Founder, Lindi Skin Care shared why women are quite often left in the dark about this topic, and what they can do to improve their sexual wellbeing.

To learn more about this important topic in women’s healthcare, listen to the original Real Women on Health podcast below.



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