Posts Tagged ‘libido’

The Four False Fantasies of Fornication


Posted 8:30 am, January 5th, 2012

by Zestra News

Most people have sex in beds. This makes sense. Beds are horizontal. They have comfortable sheets. A bedroom is generally private. So why are so many people interested in having uncomfortable, challenging and potentially embarrassing intercourse in other locations?

“Because it’s AWESOME…”

…At least that’s what we’re told.

But is it awesome? Below are four places reputed to be excellent for hot hook-ups. But between them, you can expect to be cut, squished, bitten by bugs and stuffed full of sand. Some might call that less “awesome” and more “humiliating and painful.”

Of course, there are always different strokes for different folks…

False Fantasy #1: The Haystack

sex haystack fantasy

“A roll in the hay” is a popular American idiom for a quick and painless sexual encounter. But have you ever rolled in hay? Or even touched it? It’s rough. It’s itchy. And it will CUT YOU faster than a Ritalin-popping teenager with Mom’s razor. Add the potential for various creepy-crawlies and Rodents of Unusual Size, and you have an experience more befitting a Turkish prison than a romance novel.

False Fantasy #2: The Beach

sex beach fantasy

Blast you Hollywood! Who doesn’t watch the famous scene in “From Here to Eternity” and want to be swept into similar passion – waves crashing over sun-kissed hot bodies rolling in the silt? Sounds like a dream…

But the dream is a lie. One word: Sand. Sand everywhere. Between your toes, in your eyes, up your nose and yes, in the unmentionable areas – most of all in the unmentionable areas. Unless peeing shore grit for days is a personal goal, beach sex should be more of a pariah than Casey Anthony.

False Fantasy #3: The Mile High Club

sex airplane fantasy

The myth of the Mile High Club as a source of male and female arousal is potent in our United States. Perhaps it’s the plethora of transatlantic flights, but Americans seem particularly compelled to have intercourse in tiny plastic bathrooms, mere feet from their fellow passengers.

These brave (idiotic) souls, jacked up on half-cans of Diet Coke and mini-pretzels, sneak their way into airline commodes, determined to do the nasty. Sometimes they succeed – to be faced upon exit with scowling flight attendants and the reak of unchanged diapers.

But who are these people who want to have sex in the aviation industry’s version of a clown car? Most people find airline travel uncomfortable enough without adding a bout of Trashy Toilet Twister to the equation.

False Fantasy #4: The Woods

sex forest fantasy

Ever since Lady Chatterley spent a few salacious afternoons banging her gamekeeper in the forest, literature has judged the woods to be a sexy, humping Mecca. But it’s fairly apparent that D.H. Lawrence didn’t actually spend his sexy time outside. Between the sticks, rocks, broken bottles, used condoms, Snickers wrappers and random pieces of crime scene tape, the last place you should be getting naked is under the elms.

And, if that’s not enough to convince you, consider bird poop. Nothing kills the mood like being torpedoed by a loogie of white, gloppy avian excrement.

So there you have them: Four legendary locations that may not live up to the sexy images created by books and movies. We invite you to visit them for yourselves and share your experiences below.

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Zestra’s (You-Really-Don’t-Have-To) Fake-It-Friday


Posted 8:30 am, December 16th, 2011

by Zestra News

Your Brain on O

Women are prolific, efficient and effective liars…

…At least, they are when it comes to faking orgasms.

Over the past few weeks, Zestra has tweeted, posted, blogged and commented on a number of media stories related to the seemingly irrepressible habit women have of acting out the Big O instead of experiencing one.

Scientists have speculated on why women fake it. How much they fake it. When they fake it. With whom they fake it. What it means when they fake it.

The fake orgasm may be History’s tallest tale.

The thing is, though… WOMEN DON’T HAVE TO. We have the technology! We have Zestra.

Below is a sample of our favorite orgasm news. Just keep in mind that in today’s day and age, “faking it” is a choice, not a necessity.

Women's Health Screen Grab

Women’s Health IDs reasons women fake orgasms, and why it’s not good for them…

ABC News Orgasm Screen Grab

ABC News claims some women experience a “labor orgasm” during childbirth.

CNN orgasm screen grab

Study finds women who fake orgasms more likely to believe their mate will cheat.

The Daily Fix Orgasm Screen Grab

MRI shows a woman’s brain lighting up during orgasm.

Be sure to come back and visit this blog for the best in orgasm and sex information. You should also follow us on Twitter using the button below!

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Get the Skinny on the Female Libido


Posted 8:45 am, October 28th, 2011

by Zestra News

To continue to bring you the best and boldest in sex ed, Zestra has partnered with on the enlightening (and entertaining!) infographic below. For example, did you know that 86% of women think they have low sex drive? For more excellent intel, check it out below. (And feel free to share it with friends, neighbors and the followers of your blog!)

The Skinny On The Female Libido

To embed and share this infographic, copy the code below and paste into your blog:

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5 Surprising Life Events that Affect Your Libido


Posted 8:45 am, October 27th, 2011

by Zestra News

Mature couple smiling

Sex is a rare blend of physical and mental stimulants and not entirely understood by anyone (well, maybe Freud). Consequently, events, moods and physical conditions affect everyone’s libido differently. There are the obvious game-changers like infidelity, negative body image, resurfacing childhood trauma and a major illness. But who knew living with Grandma could crush your drive?

Below are five life events that could dampen your carnal interest.

Living with Grandma.

We’ll start with the one I mentioned. People who live with family members (or in some cases, frequent houseguests) are less likely to feel like engaging in intercourse. Between the lack of privacy and potential embarrassment of being interrupted, many couples decide the risk isn’t worth the reward.

Pink slips.

Losing a job can summon stress, embarrassment, financial worry and depression – all factors that can make you less interested in intercourse. In addition, many people’s senses of self-worth are inextricable from their professional identity. Without meaningful employment, they have a difficult time finding themselves worthy of love or sex with their partner.

Going on the wagon.

Quitting alcohol is a great thing in general – one can save money, lose a few pounds and become a more even-handed, even-tempered person – but beating the booze can impact, albeit temporarily, sex drive. This decline in libido is attributable less to the absence of beer goggles than experiencing performance anxiety without alcohol, which acts as a natural anxiolytic. Studies show, however, that though short-term interest in sex is diminished, the overall quality of physical encounters is improved in the long run.

The Change.

Hot flashes, night sweats, irregular periods, fatigue, mood swings – menopause isn’t exactly a picnic. But as if things weren’t bad enough, achieving a menopause orgasm is about as easy as telling your husband it’s time to chop the comb over. At a point where you’re already feeling less attractive, suddenly it takes forever to become aroused, and once there, the feeling is considerably less intense. Is there something wrong with you? You’re dry, uncomfortable and irritated. Will you ever feel the same excitement and explosive happiness of the past? The answer is yes. With evolving hormone replacement therapy and the option of using a female arousal product, there’s no reason your sex life can’t return to the highs of pre-menopause. Discuss the situation with your doctor and be sure to communicate to your partner that the difficulty you’re having is condition-based and not his fault.

Bun in the oven.

From a female perspective, being pregnant can be just a lot on top of too much. In the first trimester, most women experience a decrease in libido – a decline worse in those with marked morning sickness. With the elimination of morning sickness in the second trimester, libido returns and can even become stronger. (Those crazy hormones!) As the imminent mother grows larger, however, sex is often the last thing on her mind. Body image crushed, uncomfortable and feeling like a U-Haul, she’s more likely to obtain her endorphins over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Men are often concerned that sex may endanger the baby and, in some cases, have a difficult time psychologically separating the wife as sex object from the wife as mother. Unless ordered by your doctor, sex can continue safely through pregnancy, though you may need to experiment with positions and techniques.

While some of the aforementioned changes are physiological, the majority are emotional and mental. They are no less real, however. Rather than finding ways to avoid sex with your partner, talk to him or her about how you’re feeling and work through it together.

Check out these useful tips from sex experts who have a thing or two to say about female sexuality.

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“It was amazing! It FELT amazing! Zestra really did…”


Posted 3:01 pm, October 4th, 2010

by Rosann

“…Now, it did not turn me into a wanton sex kitten, so I would say that my desire and/or libido was unaffected. That said, it did make sex even more pleasurable than usual and the memory of that will most certainly make me more enthusiastic for the next time.  So, in that way, Zestra can potentially help you become more interested in sex because it just plain feels better. It also might have a more systemic effect once it’s been used more often, but I can’t speak to that… yet…”

Read full Zestra Review at Toy With Me.

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