Posts Tagged ‘passion’

The Four False Fantasies of Fornication

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Posted 8:30 am, January 5th, 2012

by Zestra News

Most people have sex in beds. This makes sense. Beds are horizontal. They have comfortable sheets. A bedroom is generally private. So why are so many people interested in having uncomfortable, challenging and potentially embarrassing intercourse in other locations?

“Because it’s AWESOME…”

…At least that’s what we’re told.

But is it awesome? Below are four places reputed to be excellent for hot hook-ups. But between them, you can expect to be cut, squished, bitten by bugs and stuffed full of sand. Some might call that less “awesome” and more “humiliating and painful.”

Of course, there are always different strokes for different folks…

False Fantasy #1: The Haystack

sex haystack fantasy

“A roll in the hay” is a popular American idiom for a quick and painless sexual encounter. But have you ever rolled in hay? Or even touched it? It’s rough. It’s itchy. And it will CUT YOU faster than a Ritalin-popping teenager with Mom’s razor. Add the potential for various creepy-crawlies and Rodents of Unusual Size, and you have an experience more befitting a Turkish prison than a romance novel.

False Fantasy #2: The Beach

sex beach fantasy

Blast you Hollywood! Who doesn’t watch the famous scene in “From Here to Eternity” and want to be swept into similar passion – waves crashing over sun-kissed hot bodies rolling in the silt? Sounds like a dream…

But the dream is a lie. One word: Sand. Sand everywhere. Between your toes, in your eyes, up your nose and yes, in the unmentionable areas – most of all in the unmentionable areas. Unless peeing shore grit for days is a personal goal, beach sex should be more of a pariah than Casey Anthony.

False Fantasy #3: The Mile High Club

sex airplane fantasy

The myth of the Mile High Club as a source of male and female arousal is potent in our United States. Perhaps it’s the plethora of transatlantic flights, but Americans seem particularly compelled to have intercourse in tiny plastic bathrooms, mere feet from their fellow passengers.

These brave (idiotic) souls, jacked up on half-cans of Diet Coke and mini-pretzels, sneak their way into airline commodes, determined to do the nasty. Sometimes they succeed – to be faced upon exit with scowling flight attendants and the reak of unchanged diapers.

But who are these people who want to have sex in the aviation industry’s version of a clown car? Most people find airline travel uncomfortable enough without adding a bout of Trashy Toilet Twister to the equation.

False Fantasy #4: The Woods

sex forest fantasy

Ever since Lady Chatterley spent a few salacious afternoons banging her gamekeeper in the forest, literature has judged the woods to be a sexy, humping Mecca. But it’s fairly apparent that D.H. Lawrence didn’t actually spend his sexy time outside. Between the sticks, rocks, broken bottles, used condoms, Snickers wrappers and random pieces of crime scene tape, the last place you should be getting naked is under the elms.

And, if that’s not enough to convince you, consider bird poop. Nothing kills the mood like being torpedoed by a loogie of white, gloppy avian excrement.

So there you have them: Four legendary locations that may not live up to the sexy images created by books and movies. We invite you to visit them for yourselves and share your experiences below.

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Zestra Follow Friday Returns!

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Posted 8:30 am, December 23rd, 2011

by Zestra News

Zestra wishes you and yours a Happy Holidays! (And really hopes you’re reading this by the fireplace at home.) Our Follow Friday for this week will be brief; we have last-minute presents to wrap just like the rest of you! (And not ALL of it is arousal oil.)

So we recommend taking a look at the following Twitter feeds:

Susan Mathison

Susan Mathison Twitter

Allison Braun

Allison Braun Tweet

Nicole Daedone

Nicole Daedone Tweet

Hillary Rubin

Hillary Rubin Twitter

Amber McCue

Amber McCue Twitter

Sherri Nickols

Sherri Nickols Twitter

Joy Nordenstrom

Joy of Romance Twitter

And remember to follow us for the latest and greatest in sex news!

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The Four Building Blocks For An Ecstatic Orgasm

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Posted 9:00 am, December 19th, 2011

by Zestra News
orgasm-fairy

Brought to you by the Orgasm Fairy

Everyone it seems is looking for a way to have a better sex life, a magical orgasm or how to maintain sexual ecstasy in your life. Because let’s face it—we all should have ecstatic in our lives.

Whether it is bigger orgasms, or any orgasm, intimacy, the ease of sexual boredom or some kind of sexual cosmic connection—the hunt has been on for hundreds of years. When it come to sex, perhaps it is time to refresh our language and examine our sexuality lexicon. Let’s begin by taking apart sexual pleasure. It’s by taking it apart and learning it’s essential components that we can truly understand how it all works. Remember—sexual desire is something you can turn on and off. I often tell people that they don’t have to be in the mood for sex. Sometimes, it is just about showing up and doing it – and Zestra Arousal Oil can help with that (so keep it nearby!).

Four Building Blocks For An Ecstatic Orgasm:

1. It all starts in the mind. Come on—do you even remember that you have arms and legs during a mind blowing orgasm? Of course you don’t. Sex starts in the mind with thought. Where are you placing your attention? During love making are you thinking about making love or something else like what your boss said to you at a meeting? Just for fun, let’s compare sex and meditation. How many times does your mind drift during meditation? That is why we mediate with mantras—to keep our mind as clear from clutter as possible. It is the same thing with ecstatic sex. Keep your mind as focused as you can on receiving or giving sexual pleasure. When you mind wanders—gently bring it back—just like you would if you were meditating. And it’s fine to think about a sexual fantasy – just like you would a mantra!

Touch of love

2. Breath is essential. Once again, just like in meditation—the quality of your sexual experience could be linked to whether you are breathing enough. Sex educators love to talk about the “Quiet and Quick” rule. This is something that most of us learned as young people when we discovered that our genitals gave us pleasure. We learned to be quiet and quick in order not to be heard and not to be discovered. Unfortunately, for many people these sexual habits remain with us for the rest of our lives. If you want to have mind blowing sex, you need to breathe. If you breathe a little bit—you have smaller orgasms. If you can learn to open your lungs and breathe in a lot of oxygen—your potential of more pleasure grows.

breathe

3. Make Noise. Let’s go back to the “Quiet and Quick” rule that so many of us learned living in our parent’s house. We learned if we wanted to self pleasure (masturbate)—we needed to be quiet. No one wants our parents or siblings to walk in on us. Once again, many of us have kept that rule into our adult lives. We don’t want to be heard. Maybe it is no longer parents that we are concerned about—perhaps now it is children or neighbors. So keep a soft pillow near by and make noise into that if you are worried about bringing the house down. But open up that throat if you want to increase your sexual pleasure. Making noise and breathing are keys to heating up your sexual engine.

make noise

4. Learn to move. Shake it up! In the world of Tantra they often teach us to move like a wave or a dolphin. If you like you could stand up and practice that. But the technique is not important at all—the point is that stillness is not always your friend when you are looking for sexual bliss. Think of making love as a dance. You need to move your hips!

move

So, the next time you are thinking about how to bring more essential goodness to your love making and ramp up your sexual pleasure—remember the four components: Mind, Breath, Noise and Movement. Do it your way—paint it green and dust it with sprinkles! Own it and make it yours. I bet it will be fabulous. Just remember the trick with the pillow!

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Zestra Helps You Get Over the Hump: Week 6

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Posted 8:30 am, December 14th, 2011

by Zestra News

It’s Wednesday, which means you’re half-way to the weekend! (And, the holidays are creeping closer every day, so we hope you’ve at least started on the holiday shopping…)

Below are a few items to make the next couple of days a little bit better – Katherine Heigl explains why she’s such a big fan of neutering pets, Woody Allen notes the benefit of masturbation and someone has a crush on Dame Judi Dench… Check out this week’s Hump Day post below.

Video of the Week:

Sexy Quotes from Sexy People

Billy Crystal headshot

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” –Billy Crystal
“Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I love.” –Woody Allen
“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.” –Drew Carey

Sexperts of the Week – The Kinsey Institute

Kinsey Institute Logo

The Institute for Sex Research (later known as The Kinsey Institute) was founded in 1947 by Dr. Albert Kinsey, a zoologist at Indiana University.

Kinsey and his institute quickly became famous for The Kinsey Reports on sexuality, released as Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female in 1948 and 1953, respectively.

Discussing such then-taboos as homo- and bi-sexuality, sadomasochism and marital sexual behavior, Kinsey’s studies incurred a great deal of skepticism and negative press. The Kinsey Report is most famous for its “Kinsey Scale,” a 0 to 6 numbered continuum that suggests sexuality isn’t an unambiguous yes / no proposition, but comprised of complex, fluid impulses and behaviors.

Though Kinsey died in 1956, his work lives on in the Institute, which remains one of the foremost authorities on human sexuality. Using its website and social media to deliver information and answer questions, the Kinsey Institute (and peripheral site Kinsey Confidential) seeks to provide people with a forum to discuss all manner of sexual topics.

Kinsey Institute Tweet

You can follow the institute on Twitter @kinseyinstitute and us

Sex tip of the week:

Visit an erotic store together

Sex shop

Maybe it’s the neon XXX, but many people feel awkward visiting an adult store. Yet, a trip to the local sex shop can considerably spice up things in the bedroom. Not only will it give you and your partner some interesting bonding time, the surroundings may jumpstart a conversation that allows each of you to confess any romantic concerns or fantasies.

The results of last week’s Facebook poll

Question: My ugly crush is_________________

Best answers:

Larry David
Larry David headshot

Steve Buscemi
Steve Buscemi headshot

Dame Judi Dench
(Who, to be fair, is just old.)
Dame Judy Dench headshot

Kathleen Turner
Kathleen Turner headshot

See all the responses here.

Check out our Facebook page to vote on this week’s poll question: “I can do without…” (And we know it’s not arousal oil!)

Best results will be published next week!

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6 Sexy Date Ideas: Rekindle the Fire

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Posted 8:45 am, October 18th, 2011

by Zestra News

Rekindle the romance with six great date ideas.

The 21st century is a busy place.  Politics, money, kids, planes, trains, migraines… It’s hard to find time for anything relaxing or personal.

And good sex requires both.

Rushing from dawn until dusk, most of us are tired, stressed and more interested in sleeping on hay than rolling in it.  But this cannot stand!  After all, the very future of the planet and human civilization is at stake!

All kidding aside, here are six ideas for dates that ditch the distractions and re-ignite your sex life.

1.  “Plan” to be spontaneous

Even the best things in life can become routine.  Dazzle your partner with an impulsive lunch-hour shower.  (A tip: Various male and female arousal lubricants can make this experience even more tantalizing and memorable.)  Or, surprise your partner with an unexpected last minute tryst in an upscale hotel.  This decadent and delicious Us Time is guaranteed to leave your relationship refreshed and recharged.

2.  Rent a sailboat for a nautical adventure

A voyage on the high seas is a great way to celebrate your love and kick-start the romance.  Enjoy a candlelit dinner with your partner while relaxing on a beautiful body of water.  For those less experienced, charter companies often offer rentable crews.  Sailing lessons are also available and the experience is more affordable that you think.

3.  Get your game on

Nothing gets the blood hotter than a little friendly competition.  Consider turning your date night into a battle of the sexes over mini-golf or bowling.  Bar games like pool and darts can be both entertaining and endorphin-inducing.  For the truly adventurous, a bedroom casino can combine fun and… more fun.  Challenge your partner to a few hands of strip poker or Kama Sutra roulette.  But remember to draw the blinds.  Or don’t.  Dealer’s choice.

4.  Split date night

Rather than argue about what to do on Saturday night, split the date in two and tailor one-half to each partner.  A sample might be as follows:  Dick likes fishing.  Jane likes dancing.  Dick plans a trip to a local studio for a couple’s tango lesson.  Afterwards, Jane takes Dick to a Bass Pro Shop for dinner.  (And yes, they actually have restaurants in the majority of Bass Pro Shop locations!)  Nothing is sexier than a partner who considers your feelings.

5.  Cook an exotic meal together

Channel your inner Julia Child as the two of you create a sumptuous new dish. Trade duties as you laugh and re-connect in the kitchen.  Food can be surprisingly erotic. Try embracing something spicy like Thai or Indian to get your libido going.  But, remember to ignore those dishes until morning.

6.  Go back to the beginning

Butterflies in the stomach, sly glances across the table, your hand brushing his – a jaunt down Nostalgia Boulevard is a great way to rekindle the fire.  Peruse old pictures or recreate your first date to feel like you’re meeting for the first time, again.

The most important thing to remember is that sex is a shared experience.  Be creative, communicate and have fun together.  Keeping your romantic life fresh amidst the demands of today is a challenge, but not an insurmountable one.

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The Color of Passionate Style

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Posted 9:50 am, December 14th, 2010

by Rosann

Did you ever notice how wearing a specific color can completely change your mood and lift your spirits? Well, now you can use color to help you get you in the mood. Our sexperts and special guest David Zyla, author of The Color of Style and Emmy winning head costume designer of the soap opera All My Children, shares how to discover your “romantic color” or your version of red. Tune in to learn how to make small wardrobe changes that can make a big difference and evoke a positive response from others.

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