Posts Tagged ‘sexual desire’

Get the Skinny on the Female Libido


Posted 8:45 am, October 28th, 2011

by Zestra News

To continue to bring you the best and boldest in sex ed, Zestra has partnered with on the enlightening (and entertaining!) infographic below. For example, did you know that 86% of women think they have low sex drive? For more excellent intel, check it out below. (And feel free to share it with friends, neighbors and the followers of your blog!)

The Skinny On The Female Libido

To embed and share this infographic, copy the code below and paste into your blog:

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Is your Orgasm Depressed?


Posted 1:56 pm, May 16th, 2011

by Rosann

According to the National Mental Health Association, approximately 12 million women in the Untied States experience clinical depression each year, and one in eight women can expect to develop clinical depression during their lifetime. Depression in women can take many forms.  Depressive symptoms can include feeling sad, down in the dumps, tired and stressed.  It can affect all aspects of your life, including loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy. It is not uncommon to have appetite or weight changes coupled with difficulty concentrating.

Women are more likely to experience atypical depression – they eat more, sleep more and gain weight.  Women are about twice as likely as compared to men to suffer from depression.  Many factors are implicated in the origin of depression including biological, psychological and social factors.  Medical problems can contribute to depression, so its always critical to get a comprehensive history and medical examination. Some cultural or psychosocial problems that may lead to depression include poor self image/ esteem relationship dissatisfaction.

Luckily, there are a variety of treatment modalities that can safely and effectively treat depression, Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors have been come the first choice of antidepressant medications.  Many experience life-changing results and return to normal once they have consistently taken these medications.  According to the USA today report on Americans taking antidepressants- the amount of Americans using antidepressants doubled in the past – close to 50 million people

Not surprisingly, we see that depressed mood and sexual concerns and difficulties – including changes in sexual desire and lowered arousal – are often intertwined.  SSRIs can cause many types of sexual concerns, such as the inability to have an orgasm.  Lowered sexual interest is common for both men and women. The sexual side effects of SSRIs have been under estimated and most health care professionals are reluctant to discuss sexual side effects with their patients.

In my clinical experience it remains critical for these women to maintain their SSRI mediciations.  Depression is devastating.  Sexual side effects are often troublesome, but can be addressed in a variety of ways.  For instance, I recommend that if they take their medication in the morning, they enjoy morning sex play before their dose.  The amount of SSRI in their system maybe at its lowest level and may allow enough escape, so that they can enjoy orgasm.  Another excellent solution to heighten your sexual response and improve sexual satisfaction is with Zestra ®, a patented blend of botanical oils and extracts that has been clinically proven to be safe and effective.  Zestra can be applied topically to help with latency to orgasm and has been reported by many women on SSRI also report improved sexual orgasmic response.

If you think your  are suffering from depression, seek medical attention and get a proper medical and psychological assessment early.  Do not be afraid to get treatment and do not get scared of the possible sexual side effects.  There are sexual medicine specialists who can deal with all issues that are medication induced.  Help is close by.

Do not let your mind, body, soul or orgasm be depressed.

This month’s tip “From the desk of the Sexual Medicine Gynecologist” was provided by guest blogger Dr. Michael L. Krychman, Executive Director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine.

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How to Enjoy Great Sex After 50


Posted 11:46 am, April 25th, 2011

by Rosann

Guest blogger Pamela Madsen, author of Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure…and Somehow Got Home in Time To Cook Dinner, discusses how to keep it sexy after 50. Pamela emphatically believes that great sex does not have to end just because you got your AARP Card! This article first appeared on

I am here to shout from the roof tops that great sex does not have to end just because you are getting older! One of the most common questions that I am asked by my fifty something coaching clients is what can they do to keep it sexy after 50. So I have created some helpful tips to keep you humming!

Are You Lover Ready?

Never underestimate the value of breath mints! I am really not kidding – somehow when we are in relationship for a while, we let things go. We come to bed in sweat pants and torn tee shirts. We give our best at the office where we carry the peppermints – but sometimes come to bed without brushing our teeth! When you come to bed are you “Lover Ready” or more likely ready to turn your back?

I always find the suggestion of a date night so cliché. But date nights are really important. It’s important to leave those tennis shoes at home and get dressed up! It is only by courting each other that we get to remember the person that you fell in love with. Keep the connection and communication alive by not bringing your problems to dinner. Don’t bring up the issues with the kids, or financial problems. Really they can wait! Instead focus on your dreams – and what kind of adventure your guys could plan if you could create the time away. In addition, if you can get away – go! The truth is that sex in a hotel room can be the best sex of all.

Flipping The Sex Switch on in Your Brain

Sex is about more than procreation and it can get better with age. Yes – sex changes as we get older. Our hormones wane – and this can actually be a good thing! If we are not in the frenzy of hormone driven sex – we can take advantage of the slowing down. There is opportunity in the slowing down where a deepening sensuality can grow.

Remember that young sex is hormone driven. Those raging hormones get us running around those bases like we are in a race. Isn’t it hard to taste your food while you are running? As our hormones soften – we can too and perhaps finally begin to truly pay attention to what we are doing. Slow down and get sensual.

Let you hot deep desire soften into love and gentleness. Let go of what love making used to look like – that was so last year. It’s time to let go of who you used to be as a sexual creature and say hello to who you are now. Many people believe that making love (sex) starts in our brains. It’s about how you think of yourself. If you think you are old and your sexuality is dead then most likely you will act old and you sexuality will be dead. Instead – let’s flip the sex switch back on – and let the blood flow!

Sex is About More Than Intercourse!

It’s time for an attitude adjustment! If you are a man over 50 – you do not need to be a roaring stallion anymore. Chances are your woman would be just as happy if you learned how to explore the other arts of love making! Explore things like oral sex and all body touch. Slow it down and do a little research on how to make your touch sexier. There are some great resources out there. Explore educational videos that can teach you how to use your mouth and hands more effectively! And maybe it’s time to see what is going on at your local sex store! Sex toys are fun – and they can really inspire you to be innovative in your play!

The Changing Body

Both men and women experience changes in our bodes as we age. Women may find that they are now experiencing thinness in their vaginal walls and dryness. Men may experience a drop in testosterone while women are losing estrogen. Talk to your doctor about exploring Bio Identical Hormone Therapy. Some experts believe that changes in diet, increasing exercise, acupuncture and even doing kegals for both men and women can really help. Learn about the little blue pill, lubricants, arousal gels for women and become an innovative thinker.

Menopause or Manopause is no reason for sex to stop. Sexless marriages and sexless single lives do not have to happen simply because we age or our bodies change. In fact these changes can bring added gifts. It is possible to become a hotter lover and be more sexually active than we ever were when we were younger. Come on….have you ever done a sexy Skype conversation with your partner?

See? The possibilities are endless!

Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen is a fertility/sex educator, blogger, author of Shameless (Rodale, Jan 2011), motivational speaker and founder of The American Fertility Association. She is also a certified somatic sex educator with a coaching practice that focuses on helping people create the next big thing in their lives, as well as supporting her clients in issues related to sexuality and fertility.  To learn more about Pamela, please visit her website and her daily blog,

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Sex: The More You Have – The More You Want?


Posted 2:34 pm, March 22nd, 2011

by Rosann

Today guest blogger Pamela Madsen, author of Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure…and Somehow Got Home in Time To Cook Dinner, discusses the unexpected hunger pangs that can happen after sexually starving ourselves. And, she also shares how we can all use this new found sexual energy to our advantage in life, love and everything in between. This article first appeared on

“If you don’t use it…you lose it”.

Have you ever heard that phrase? How about “The more you get – the more you want?” Have you noticed that the word “insatiable” goes so well with the word “desire”? Almost like peanut butter and jelly!

There have been times in my own sexual awakening that I started to feel exploring my sexuality is like that old saying about eating Chinese food. You can have a delicious meal and twenty minutes later you are hungry again!

Maybe I am exaggerating just a little, but I do think that if you do not stir the pot of your sexual being – you can become dormant just like a hibernating bear. Have you ever seen a hibernating bear on one of those nature shows after he wakes up? Just like the bear – once you wake up and begin to feed yourself – you can find that your hunger is extraordinary. And that hunger can be quite unsettling. How do we manage our hunger?

I love to talk about us “waking up your sleeping beauty!” And what I mean by that – is reawakening our sexual selves. But what happens when Beauty wakes up and the Prince is snoring? Or there is no Prince? How does Beauty feed herself? Or Visa Versa!

I have been steeped in desire lately – I have a Shameless Life Coaching practice – and one of my clients is a lovely woman who I am going to call “Gena”. Gena is in her forties and has two kids, runs her own business and after reading my book Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time To Cook Dinner began to explore her own sexuality by working with me and a Certified Sexological Bodyworker.

Guess what happened? Her inner “Sleeping Beauty” woke up! WoooHoooo! Fantastic! Well, actually feeling our newly found sexual awakening can sometimes be uncomfortable.

Once we start exploring what we desires, figure out how desire looks for us and how to reach for them – things can really heat up for us in our lives! Gena recently said to me…

“Speaking of desire I have a subject that I hope to get feedback about. I have a terrible time focusing on the requirements of my daily life. Since I started do deeply explore this part of myself – I have become so focused on sex! I have a business to run, friends, kids, parents, etc.

I crave all that goes with this quest. Following discussion groups, reading, watching videos, having more experiences, experimenting with Zestra and other ways of exploring my own sexuality for myself. And all of this learning, all seem to tug at me when I really should be working or doing the more routine, and often less fulfilling parts of my life. I don’t feel comfortable sharing much of this with anyone in my immediate circle, which is obviously a problem I have to work on. I desire comfort in this new found joy. I’m unsettled. Like I’m waiting for something. It’s hard to sit with the pleasure and happiness I experience in increasing amounts as I learn and incorporate more of the eroticism and deep excitement I often feel. Maybe that’s it. Too much excitement for everyday pursuits.

How do other people deal with this? What do you do with an inability to satisfy yourself, in a complete, overall way? It seems like no matter what I experience I still have insatiable desire for more”.

I don’t think that Gena is alone. After we starve ourselves – and then taste food for the first time in a long time – it can be pretty overwhelming. The good news is that is we continue to feed ourselves things to become more balanced in our lives – and we end up in a much place in our lives.

What I have found is that it comes in waves. This this insatiable need for more in the beginning of ending our sensual deep snooze.

Again, I liken it to survivors of famine who for a while after they are rescued hoard food or cannot stop eating. So many of us are starving in our bodies for sensual pleasure and the road that it can take us down – a full, healthy integrated life.

It’s just that sometimes we don’t know our hunger until we jump start our bodies and come out of hibernation. And then the food tastes so sweet and our bodies just cannot get enough because we went too long without feeding it.

My suggestion is to everyone who is just beginning to wake up again sexually in their lives is to to notice your hunger. I am noticing mine, and as you are able to  – feed yourself. Perhaps you need a little more right now – then let your body have it. Reassure your body that you will not take this away from yourself ever again – that it IS available.

If you can afford it, explore taking a workshop and indulge yourself a bit. Look for new ways to feed and explore your own sexuality. Pleasure and sexuality can be found in so many things! Use your new found sexual energy to channel your creativity! Painting, taking up photography, cooking, dancing and yoga are all great ways to continue to explore and use your nearly emerging sexual energy.

Feeding yourself can be buying long black stockings and wearing them just for yourself! I have begun to buy beautiful bath products. I am addicted at the moment to LUSH. I give myself special long sexy baths .I acknowledge and feed my desire in different ways.

Please don’t be frightened of your desires. Feed yourself in ways that reassures your body and your mind will be much more free to do what you need to do. Notice your desire. Do not judge it or decide that it is too much.

Consider seeing and feeling your desire as an indicator of your vitality! I often feel my desire in that way. I choose to feel that I am a beautiful sexual being in full bloom! When I feel my deep desire….I imagine myself as that flower after the rain and I all myself to enjoy the feeling.

I believe that as our bodies learn that we will never go to sleep on ourselves again that we will become less agitated with all of these new feelings and we will become more fulfilled in how we live our daily lives. Sex is not an end point – it is an integral part of who we are.

For now, I have advised my client to eat freely and eat often.  I am so glad that Gena woke up! And she is not alone. So many of us are finally acknowledging our desires, and wanting more for ourselves in this life.  Feeling all of those feelings it isn’t always comfortable especially in the beginning  – but isn’t it so much better than being asleep?

Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen is a fertility/sex educator, blogger, author of Shameless (Rodale, Jan 2011), motivational speaker and founder of The American Fertility Association. She is also a certified somatic sex educator with a coaching practice that focuses on helping people create the next big thing in their lives, as well as supporting her clients in issues related to sexuality and fertility.  To learn more about Pamela, please visit her website and her daily blog,

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Lost and Found: Sexual Desire


Posted 10:42 am, May 18th, 2010

by Rosann

Julie K, MI (via Share Your Story)

“I had lost all sexual desire, so I decided to order Zestra just to see if it really works. OMG the first time I tried Zestra I was amazed by the deep sexual desire I was feeling. It felt like I was alive again, having some of the best orgasms I have ever had, , Zestra gave me back what I had lost, I want to thank the makers of Zestra, I will be a faithful customer forever. P.S my husband is very Thankful!!”

For more testimonials, visit Zestra is Changing Lives.

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Fighting Cancer One Orgasm at a Time


Posted 9:36 am, March 19th, 2010

by Rosann

Diane L – CA (via Share Your Story)

“I heard about Zestra in my cancer support group and finally gave it a try after being disappointed by so many other products. Zestra worked! It was much more effective and very different than any lubricants I had tried. Since I can’t take any hormones to improve sexual satisfaction, I am so glad I found Zestra.”

For more testimonials, visit Zestra is Changing Lives.

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